What do you think of the phrase "they did their best" in terms of your parent's job raising you when they did awful?

So, that phrase most definitely has it's place in certain situations! There are some spots in my life where I (32 M) can apply it to my parents and myself.

But I've seen 3 therapists in my life, and discussing my family trauma has always come up. Long story short, my mother was a crack addict who abandoned and neglected all of her children. If we weren't able to serve as a means to shelter (through our dads or guilting her friends) she'd up and drop us off and disappear. And my own father was an enabler who ignored us our whole life's, pretty much would pretend we didn't exist and avoided any sort of conflict.

But anyways, back to the phrase! That has popped up here and there when discussing certain aspects, and it always feels out of place. I don't know. Like, for example, once my mom took me to a boy's only birthday party (elementary school age) at like some sort of chucky cheese party place. She stole a Nintendo 64 that was a gift for the kid, and left me there while she went to go pawn it for drug money. It was horribly embarrassing and traumatic for me. The people she stole from had to give me a ride home.

That's just one example amongst many, but like overall I couldn't apply a "they did their best" to how awful of parents they were. It just doesn't fit, and I think it's sorta a cop out for whenever people/therapists don't know what to say and they're (maybe) trying to get us to feel some sort of sympathy for our parents? But personally it just never made things better.

Let me know your thoughts!