AIO my boyfriend won’t stop pretending i’m a minor during sex.

Tw: csam mention and sa mention

I 19f have been with my boyfriend 30m for seven months now (we met at a bar and the age gap wasn’t discussed until after our first time together). I am four-foot-five and around seventy-five pounds, when he expressed that he was attracted to my body type I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t really think anything of it. The problem came up during sex about three months ago when he asked me to say and act like I was nine years old while literally inside of me. I have a history with csam and sa that he’s well aware of so as you can imagine I freaked out on him and even went as far as to threaten to break up with him if anything like that happened again. It wasn’t even a week before he was back to saying triggering things to me in bed and when I would try to beg him to stop he would tell me that I just didn’t want to take care of him like he takes care of me. For the last two months I’ve been crying and letting him do whatever he wants because at this point I feel very attached and he’s my first ever boyfriend.

Edit: I want to first say thank you to everyone that’s genuinely trying to help. I want to make it very clear I never pretended to be younger to play into all of this, the thought of that makes me physically sick, and I was physically sick everytime these actions took place. He specifically chose the age nine because we had a conversation about how my first experience with sa and csam was at that age. This post is real and this account was made just to talk about this. As dumb as it may seem I needed all these harsh comments to really understand how bad this really is. I get very defensive when blame is given to me even though I know that I know better than this because the fact that it even got to this point makes me very angry with myself. I’m sorry for anyone I upset or made uncomfortable with my words or my actions.

Edit #2: A lot of people are telling me to report him but there’s no evidence of anything for me to make a case with. I spent the last hour and a half going through devices and downloading files. His computer had nothing pertaining to minors but I did find pictures and short videos of me that I didn’t know were being taken (some of which I’m very clearly crying or saying no). He follows a lot of young looking Asian women on instagram and even “teens” on TikTok but all of their bios say 18 or older. I feel like I’ve been violated twice now and it’s something i genuinely wouldn’t wish on anyone.