i wish i tried harder in high school

i feel like such an idiot. im told by classmates that my intelligence is simply not reflected by my work in the gradebook. i’ve had conversations/interviews from yale, penn, and other schools and every conversation has lasting almost 2 hrs+ with the interviewer saying im interesting to talk to or saying they hope i go to their school or saying i fit the school. but in reality, im not getting into any one of these schools. my overall application isnt strong enough for these t20 schools.

but oh well, maybe in the next life.