DAE get sick from thinking about their birthday?

i have being carrying awful nausea with me for weeks now because my birthday is slowly coming. i’m so worried i’ll have to spend it alone again and i don’t think i’m going to be able to take it.

each year is a reminder of all the wasted time and relationships i’ve lost and how much lonelier things become yearly. it is genuine torture and i’ll be stuck home, in bed, crying all day like a loser. my birthday is in 5 weeks and it’s awful and i want to vomit and stuff