AITA for asking my husband to get a vasectomy.

My husband (42 M) and I (37 F) have been married for 12 years and we have 4 children together. All of my pregnancies were awful, I won't go into details but rest assured after the last one I said "no more". He agreed and we discussed how to prevent future pregnancies. I have been on birth control for 20+ years and said I no longer want to take it. It makes my hormones do silly things and it keeps weight on me and makes my face break out. Not to mention the crazy menstral cramps that came with it. I tried so many different types like 18 different ones and unfortunately as I have gotten older I have not responded to any of them well. The mood swings were the worst part of it.

I asked for a vasectomy and he said "no way" citing that it would take away his manhood and prevent a future that would include more children. I was confused and asked if he wanted more kids with me and he said "no", then I asked if he wants more kids with his next wife and he brushed it off. I totally understand that he has a choice about his own body, but I have put my body through hell and want to just move into the next phase of our marriage where we don't have anymore kids and can have sex in a more "carefree" way.

Cut to now(10 months later) and I decided to go off my birth control and I finally feel like myself again. I am running again, my face cleared up and my energy has returned. Unfortunately that has resulted in my husband and I not having sex. I am too scared of getting pregnant again. I had a miscarriage shortly after our last baby was born while I was on birth control, and breastfeeding.

What I want to know from my fellow potatoes is am I the a-hole for demanding a vasectomy? I am considering a hysterectomy, would that be a better route to go? Have any of you had that done?

I am just so sad that my physical love life is gone so early and I don't know what to do. We have had dozens of conversations about this and are currently attending therapy but the outcome is always the same. I feel like this whole thing is my fault and I am so lonely.