MIL always insulting my career

Yalll…. So this morning I was on FaceTime with my MIL. She started asking about us moving again because our lease is up in may. I told her that I don’t think we will be able to move because rents are so high. I said we’ve been looking all over and even houses down the street from us, smaller than ours are over 2k now. Our rent was $1400 when we moved in 4 years ago, and the landlord raises it $50 a year so we pay $1600. She said yall should move closer to us… that was you have better schools, your car won’t get broken into (someone attempted to steal my car like a month ago), you’ll be in a nice area etc. I said I wish we could but we can’t afford to live in your area. we’ve looked all over the state and some rents are as high as $5000 a month for a 3 bedroom. She said rent here isn’t 5k.. I said no it’s not but is like $2600+ which we can’t afford. She says then you all need to budget better. Then she said “or when you move closer I can watch the kids and you can get a part time job to chip in with the bills”. This pissed me off IMMEDIATELY. I stay home with my sons but I also run my own business. I’ve been an artist for 9 years, and I make decent money for only working a few hours a day (during nap and bedtime) from home. So immediately I said I don’t need a part time job, I have a career. And she said well you could make more money to chip in to the bills. I said these last few months I’ve been making more money than your son, and have been paying most of the bills…. I’ve never said anything like this but her comment just pissed me off and it’s not the first time she’s said something like that. She said “oh you make X $ a year?!” And I said no… but neither does your son. After taxes, health insurance etc all comes out of his check he makes a little over half of that.. And I’ve been making more than that, while staying home, while taking care of the kids, while he’s gone 12 hours a day. So why should I get a part time job? It’s just not realistic for us to afford a new home right now. That’s just a fact. It’s not about budgeting better. The economy is shit right now. Everything is so expensive. Why am I expected to get a part time job when I already have the full time job of raising the children alone all week, while working for myself with every spare second I get? Doing a career I’ve been building for 9 years? So I’m expected to take care of the children, take care of the household, run a business, pay half (sometimes more) of the bills, AND have a part time job?

My partner and I are not married, but we’ve been together for 6 years. The main reason we’re not married is his debt and tax problems from the past. So after the call she texts me and asks if he’s claiming our son on taxes. I said no, I am because of health insurance. He JUST got a job that offers insurance about a year ago but the kids aren’t on it. So I claim the kids to get help with insurance. Then she goes on to say that he should claim him so he would have less taken out for taxes. Which if it would save us money, I wouldn’t mind. But we need insurance. So I said oh I’ve told him to put us on his insurance but he just hasn’t done it yet and I can’t do it myself… she said I don’t think he can put YOU on it because you’re not married… when are you guys gonna get married?? Is her fave question, and she always asks when we’re getting married or why we’re not married etc. so I said “yeah, he wants to get married but I don’t want to until he gets all of his tax issues handled.. I don’t want to be in trouble with the IRS”. Then she says “yeah there’s some things you need to handle on your end too. Like (my oldest son’s father’s name). I think going back to mediation would be a good idea.” With this I truly don’t get what she means… my son’s father sucks, and I hate that my son has to go to visits with him but how does that prevent us from getting married? So I responded back and said “what do you mean by that? I talked to the lawyer and they said that they’re not going to take his visitations away unless I can prove physical abuse. So it looks like we’re stuck with this until my son is 12 and can have a say in where he goes.”

My son doesn’t want to go to the visits and his dad is very neglectful and emotionally abusive. He JUST started going with him last year after having little contact for 5 years, my son is 8. It’s a pain in the ass for all of us in the house, and my partner and I both feel horrible for my son and don’t want him to have to go. But I don’t get why that would prevent us from getting married? Was she trying to jab back and me like, you have your own baggage type of shit? I was just saying I’m scared of the IRS and legally being married is MOSTLY about sharing finances, debt, taxes etc. if her son was going to marry me and I had all of this debt and tax issues that would now become his, I’m sure she would tell him not to marry me until that’s taken care of. We’ve been together for 6 years, have a child together, share income and bills, are monogamous… we’re pretty much married aside from the financial stuff. He’s going to be dealing with my sons father regardless of being legally married lol. So I truly don’t get why she said that or what it has anything to do with getting married? She also makes comments about how can my son’s father handle knowing another man has been feeding, clothing, housing his son for years and not feel bad… like I haven’t been working and contributing this entire time? lol.

Sometimes she’s so sweet, loving, kind, and amazing to be around… and then she has episodes like this that I just don’t understand. She’s a great grandma to both of my sons, bio or not. I truly think she’s suffering with some kind of alcohol induced dementia or some shit idk. But it truly pissed me off, the entire conversation.