Waiting for a miscarriage.

This is my second miscarriage since December. I discovered my first miscarriage when I started bleeding, and it was devastating. But this time feels so different.

After learning I was pregnant again, I scheduled a 48-hour HCG test. My initial numbers were strong, and I felt hopeful. However, the second test showed only a small increase. My doctor discussed the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy and ordered another round of testing. My numbers dropped—not drastically, but enough to confirm a miscarriage.

I’m currently eight weeks pregnant with a nonviable pregnancy. Experiencing full-blown pregnancy symptoms while knowing I’m just waiting for a miscarriage has been absolute hell. This is such a unique and unbearable pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I keep testing at home, hoping to see the line fade. But nothing. Tomorrow, I’ll go back to confirm my numbers are continuing to drop.

I’m just ready to bleed.