Vegan OCD

I accidentally saw some posts saying that animals are raped to produce food (milk/meat/etc) and now im scared to eat anything and feel the need to punish myself for it. Idk what to do. Ive been eating meat my whole life.

OCD already made me cut all of my friends off, stop doing my hobbies etc. Eating and sleeping and working is all i have. Cant even sleep in my own bed cuz of contamination OCD.

I really need help i think... But I cant find an OCD specialist in my country.