Should a lack of intellectual stimulation in a guy be non-negotiable?

Hey everyone, I’m (F) struggling with a dilemma in my 2.5-year relationship and could really use some outside perspectives. My boyfriend (M) is a kind person, but I’ve been feeling increasingly unfulfilled because of a lack of intellectual stimulation in our relationship.

Here’s the situation:

I’m someone who loves deep, meaningful conversations—about life, philosophy, books, or even just exploring ideas. It’s how I connect with people on a deeper level. My boyfriend, on the other hand, doesn’t operate on that wavelength. When I brought this up, his response was, “I can’t do it, mera dimaag ese nhi chalta hai” (my brain doesn’t work that way). While I respect his honesty, it’s left me feeling disconnected. I’ve had so many deep conversations with friends and even strangers lately, and every time, I find myself thinking, “Why can’t I have this with my boyfriend?” It’s like I only know him on a surface level, and it’s making me question our compatibility. To add to this, I’ve also been feeling like he’s too casual in the relationship. I told him it feels like we’ve been married for 50 years because he doesn’t give me much attention or effort. This isn’t the first time I’ve brought this up—it’s happened twice in 2.5 years.

Some background:

I was the one who liked him first, and he didn’t really put in much effort to “woo” me because he knew I was already interested. He also liked my friend first (we were in the same college group) but she rejected him. He often covers this by saying he thought I was “out of his league,” which feels like a deflection rather than a genuine compliment. I’m torn because:

On one hand, I care about him, and we’ve built a history together. He’s not a bad person, and I don’t want to throw away a relationship over something that might seem superficial to others. On the other hand, I’m worried that this lack of intellectual and emotional depth will lead me to seek those connections outside the relationship, which isn’t fair to either of us. So, I’m asking you all:

Should a lack of intellectual stimulation be a deal-breaker? Have any of you been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Is it possible to build this kind of connection over time, or is it something that either exists or doesn’t? I’d really appreciate any advice or perspectives. Thanks in advance!