Healthy hair is overrated and I hate it

I’ve been licensed for almost 17 years and I’m currently a salon manager. 3.5 years ago my salon team banded together and refused, as a group that they would no longer be bleaching my hair.

On one hand, this is the only thing they have ever come together on and decided as a group so I’m a little proud of them, on the other, what the fuck you guys?

They said my hair was hay, they were terrified of touching it and they would not do it. In a moment of temporary insanity I decided to go on a “healthy hair journey” to set a good example.

I got a huge chop, a short bob and went light brown. Regular trims and treatments. My hair is now down to my lover back, thick down to the very end and feels and looks like silk. They literally drag me to their guests to show them what they did for me.

I get compliments the time.

This head of hair is driving my insane. I want my pile of hay that holds a curl for 10 days and never gets oily back. I want it to feel stiff like a wig and not move in the wind. I WANT PLATINUM GUMMY HAIR.

My hair now is like a good damn Pantene commercial from the 2000’s, it flies everywhere because it’s light as a feather. It’s absolutely massive on wash day, even though I only have small waves. It reacts to environmental factors like humidity. I never even thought about humidity before. My deep fried rubber hair didn’t give a shit about humidity, rain, wind or anything else. It was locked in place.

This is my secret shame. Healthy hair is annoying as fuck when you’ve gotten used to fried ass platinum hair.