[Update] My husband (30M) told me (30F) we're sexually incompatible. What can I do to help?

This is an update to my post a few days ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1ikgjvx/my_husband_30m_told_me_30f_were_sexually/

A little bit of added context for everyone, based on the comments I've received: * Some people asked what I meant when I said he wants sex at inopportune times (like when I need to run an errand). It's mostly at completely random times, like when I'm about to head to the gym, or when we're about to head out for the night to meet friends/family/go on a date. If we were to have sex it would make me late, which I really hate. * Someone commented on if I'm too tired/stressed from work to have sex. He's currently the sole earner of the household. I do work a part-time job where I decide when to pick up shifts, but he's made it very clear that we don't need the money and I don't need to even contribute what I make to our finances. * We share the household chores. I do cooking & cleaning, he does laundry, dishes, and garbage. * Alot of comments seemed to misunderstand my "get me in the mood first" comment. When we have sex there is plenty of foreplay, and he almost always goes down on me and makes me cum first before we move onto PIV. But sometimes I'm not initially in the mood, so I tell him if he really wants sex right now he'll have to turn me on. Maybe a quick massage, kiss my neck, things like that. * Majority of our sex sessions are just vanilla sex. He's not pushing his anal fantasies on me every time. At most he'll stick a finger in during PIV, which I'm fine with most of the time.

Now, for updates. I spent aloot of time reading everyone's comments and suggestions, and I'm very grateful for all the feedback. Armed with more knowledge and ideas, I went back to my husband to try to resolve things. * I stopped trying to initiate sex with him, I could tell he was starting to get bothered by it. I tried wearing one of the butt plugs he had bought me and showed it off to him, but he seemed annoyed about it, so I'm backing off. But I'm trying to be more intimate in non-sexual ways. I'm hugging and kissing him more often, and cuddling whenever we're both on the couch. He seems to be appreciating that more. * I brought up seeing a sex-positive therapist. He said he's fine with giving it a try, but isn't sure what they can really do for us. I'm currently researching therapists and will try to book an appointment soon. * I was terrified of bringing this up, but I got enough comments that I felt I had to. I asked him if he wants to take a break from us or wants to try opening the marriage so he can have more sex. He practically called me crazy for suggesting it, and said he only wants to have sex with me. He reminded me of the situation with his uncle's family, and said even with my consent he would still consider it cheating. * I've started reading a smut book, in the hopes that it'll get me in the mood more often. So far it's a little cringey but I'm hanging in there! I'm also reading the Emily Nagoski book "Come as you are". * I asked him to clarify more what he meant when he said I have all the power when it comes to sex. He told me he's pretty much always turned on, so as soon as I'm in the mood I can have sex. He also said he felt our sex life was very one-sided, where he would have to get me in the mood, go down on me and make me cum, then "do all the work" during PIV. He said I often "starfish" during sex, which I didn't know was a term. I sometimes try to be on top or change positions, but I get tired pretty quickly so he has to take over again. He said all of this makes him feel like sex is something he's doing "to me" instead of "with me", almost like I'm a victim. I tried to tell him that's not the case at all, but he wasn't convinced. * We've both agreed to get our hormones checked, to see if it can explain why our libidos are on the opposite sides of the spectrum. * We agreed to hit pause on the discussion of having kids, until we get to the bottom of this.

Anyways, that's all I suppose. Thank you everyone for all of your help and insights, I feel like I've learned so much in just a few days, and the more I learn the better I feel our chances are at resolving this issue. I guess the rest will be upto our therapist to help with.