Fucking help.

I barely use reddit so this is really fucking awkward, but this subreddit exists and I’m willing to reach out and get some answers or something. So I’d say I’m a very manly man despite questioning if the things I do are manly (for example: I have long hair and sometimes I worry people will think it’s girly or something.) I consistently worry that I am not manly enough and it would make me out to be a pussy. Recently I’ve had the intrusive thoughts of what if I’m (what this subreddit is about) after making a joke and then spaced out and I guess my mind jumped to the conclusion. Those thoughts lasted 4 days or so and went away when I saw people talking about how they’re intrusive thoughts. They came back after a week and a half and just haven’t left me alone and make me freak the fuck out. I know that I’m not (what the subreddit is about), just the thoughts really make me anxious and freaked the fuck out. These thoughts just come out of nowhere, or when I worry something I’m doing isn’t manly enough. I’ve seen people say to be mindful, but how am I supposed to when these thoughts aren’t true and are super fucking scary? I’ve had anxiety for the past few years and ptsd if that helps. I’ve had really bad fears kind of like this in the past but with “If I do _ then I will get tetanus.”, or “If I do _ the world will end.”, but these thoughts are way fucking worse and are really effecting me negatively. I know I’m a man I’m 100% sure, just these thoughts freak me the fuck out.

Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated. I figured I’d ask the subreddit about it since I just can’t get it out of my head.

I understand they’re intrusive thoughts and I actually got a really good hold of them last night, just I’ve been waking up worrying about it with a really fast heart rate.

Like I said before, any advice is appreciated. How do I get over this? I can’t just be mindful or say “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” because these thoughts are NOT TRUE AND ARE NOT ME.

Please help.